He's Just Not That Into You

A friend of mine had a book titled He's Just Not That Into You.
Yes, they later based a movie off of it. No I didn't watch it.

It's basically the "No-excuses truth to understanding guys." And the basics of that is, if he doesn't ask you out, call you, have sex with you, want to marry you, or if he disappears on you, he's just not that into you. Move on because you are a sexy fox who deserves better.

One of the interesting concepts of the book is that guys like the chase. They like pursuing girls with the ultimate goal of winning them over. The girls' job then is to look pretty and prolong the chase a bit by use of mixed signals and flirting.

The feminist in me thought, "This is crap. If I like a guy enough, it shouldn't be socially unacceptable to ask him out. Screw gender roles!!!"

But then I thought about it, and realized that this makes life so much easier for me.

I mean think about it. All we have to do is wait for guys to fall into our trap, string them along a bit, and if we like them, awesome. Tie the knot and live happily ever after. If we don't, cut the strings. No heavy lifting necessary!

Not that women can't do heavy lifting. But why should we when we could just get a guy to do it.

We don't have to do overt pursuing. We can just use clever deception and lure them in. There's a less likely chance you will experience rejection and upset pride this way.

And I like how the book is so straight-forward. He's just not that into you. Move on. Stop wasting your time, energy, and emotions. There are better guys out there who are better for you. It's quite empowering.

On a related side note, I don't really wonder if a guy is into me a lot. Not that I have men professing their undying affection for me left and right, but what really racks my brain is if I am into him. I have a tendency to fall for guys who are severely unavailable, either because he's taken, doesn't know I exist, is a celebrity, or he's gay. So I spend most of my time trying to figure out if I actually like him or if there are other confounding factors contributing to my "feelings."

Admittedly, I am an oblivious, bumbling idiot when it comes to love and relationships.


Summer reading list

Finish Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
Reread The Giver by Lois Lowry
Read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson (I can't find a copy of it anywhere!)
Read something by Chuck Palahniuk. Probably Fight Club or Choke.
Read something by David Sedaris. Probably Naked.
Maybe read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath