Fortune Telling

I got my palm read today.

I don't really believe in fortune telling. I believe good fortune tellers are really good at reading people. Your palms, crystal balls, and tarot cards are all just distractions when in fact, your tone of voice, your body language, your way of dress, and your facial expressions give everything away.

But having my fortune told was something I always wanted to do.
Plus I didn't feel like being myself today. This is a rare feeling as I'm usually content with who I am. This morning, I felt cliched, lame, and unoriginal. So I put on a dress I never wear and wore non-prescription frames. I looked like I was from the 50's.
Point is, what better time to "trick" a fortune teller than when you are not feeling like yourself?

I was walking down Telegraph and I was stopped by a fortune teller soliciting her services. I thought, "Hell, why not." So I sat down on the wooden chair, handed her my palms, and tried to remain as stoic as possible.

The fortune teller looked like a gypsy. She had charred, discolored skin, creating a camouflage pattern on her face. Her teeth were yellowed and spaced apart. There were sparse dark hairs on her upper lip. Her coral lip gloss looked erratically applied. She had bulbous fingertips. The nail on her thumb had a crack that ran from tip to cuticle. She was missing entire fingernails. It felt like you would fall into her wide brown eyes if you lean in far enough. She spoke with a heavy accent and ended each sentence with "Do you understand, dah-ling?"

She told me I had a good positive energy and I try to see everything in a positive light. She said there is success in the family and she could see that I would carry on this success. Then she said I have not been sleeping well, that something has been causing me sadness and confusion. As she said "sadness...and confusion," she touch my right shoulder, my left, and then my stomach with the back of her hand. She said that I am climbing and climbing, trying to reach success, but I've been slipping, that I have lost my direction. She pantomimed this as she said it.

Basically, she told me things she could have told any schmuck who decides to pay $5 and sit on that wooden chair.

Towards the end of the reading, of which she merely glanced at my palms once, she asked if I'd like a crystal ball reading because there were a lot of things she sees in me that would be clearer through a crystal ball. I smiled, said thanks but no thanks, then tried to leave without paying since she didn't say anything about payment. She stopped me.

So I am $5 poorer and no less confused about my past, present, or future.

But, I'm okay with that. What is life without mystery and frivolous spending?